Waiting

“He gives and takes away, He gives and takes away,
My heart will choose to say: Lord, blessed be Your Name.”

That chorus from the praise song keeps running repeatedly through my mind.

Several nights ago, my grandmother’s bad heart threw her into cardiac arrest. She now lies in a hospital bed hooked to a ventilator. And so we wait.

I got to see her last night. The fact is that I wasn’t sure the woman in the bed was my grandmother. I had to check the computer screen for her name to be sure. I was able to wake her, and we proceeded to have a torturous, one-sided conversation. I rambled on about this and that – meaningless rabble – as she tried to respond. I know that she understood me – I could read her lips as she repeated some of the words that I spoke.

Now that I’ve had the opportunity to see her, my prayer is that she not linger. And yet, I will trust Him. His ways are higher than mine. His plans better than mine. And yet, I will trust Him.

I don’t know how much I’ll be sharing here for awhile. I’m helping with meals for my grandfather and taking him back and forth to the hospital. Though these things don’t take a whole lot of time, I just don’t have the mental gumption or desire to blog right now.

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
And naked shall I return there.
The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the LORD.”
Job 1:21

What would I do without Him? Thank God, I don’t need to know.