My Lenten Wrestling Match

Sometimes submitting is easy.  Sometimes submitting is hard.  Today it was hard.

A decision was made, and it needed to stand.  I knew I had two options:  Go into the situation with a discontented, irritated, and complaining heart - making myself miserable and everyone else in the process.  OR, go into the situation with a willing and trusting heart, looking for ways to bring joy to all involved.

I went to my quiet time, ready to wrestle.  Not with God, but with myself.  I knew exactly what I needed to do - the question was if I was going to do it.

I found myself on my knees saying nothing but, "Help me, Abba.  Help me."  And in His grace, He helped me.  In that quiet place, the thought came to mind of Jesus bowing His knee before His Father, crying out for help and submitting, willingly, to The Plan.  That thought shocked me at first.  How audacious.  How arrogant to compare my piddly-little situation with His.  And yet, isn't that what this season of Lent is all about - identifying with the Suffering Savior?  In a tiny, minuscule way, I was given a glimpse into what it might have been like during Jesus' wrestling match.  For He, too, in a far more consequential way than mine, had to choose to give up His desires for the will of His Father. 

Wow.  As I got up off my knees in thankfulness, I knew with confidence that my course was set and began immediately thinking about what I could do to make the most of the situation.  And I realized, too, that after my wrestling match, though a tad dishevelled and weary, I looked a little bit more like my Savior.  Score.