Mary or Judas?

I'm really struggling this week. I have been mentally overwhelmed by various situations and circumstances in my life. Thankfully, the Lord graciously reminded me of something from His Word this morning that is helping with my struggling. I read the account in John 12 of Mary pouring out the costly oil on Jesus' feet and wiping them with her hair. In the meantime, Judas is fussing that this oil should have been sold and the money given to the poor - though what he really wanted was to line his pockets with it.

I realized the great contrast between the hearts and attitudes of Mary and Judas. Mary wasn't worrying about the amount of money, time, or reputation she was giving up. She was focused on serving her Lord - no matter what it cost her. Judas on the other hand was focused on himself - what he was losing by this act of service. It struck me that I want to be like Mary - sacrificing in service for the King without thought of herself and what she was giving up. In contrast, the selfishness of Judas appeared very ugly to me. Yet I saw that MY focus has been in the same place as Judas' - on self.

So the Lord reminded me that I have a choice. I can look at my circumstances and choose to focus on myself and what my sacrifices are costing me. OR I can focus on the One I am ultimately serving in whatever I do and give to Him an offering of myself - of my time, my tiredness, my distracted mind.

Is my mental struggling all gone? No, not completely. But remembering that I do have a CHOICE with what I do with that struggling is a gracious help from the Lord. Moment by moment I can choose Him or me. And that one's a no-brainer.