I wrote out my testimony and shared it with my church family last evening. I share it here in the hope that it may encourage someone in some way:
Before I share my testimony, I want to take the opportunity to encourage you in several ways. First of all, as you’ll hear in a few minutes, I want to encourage your heart with the fact that so many of you have had a direct impact on my testimony. You are part of the plan that God used to draw me to Himself. I tell you that so that you might be encouraged to remember that whether we ever know it or not, we can play a role in the salvation of others. We may never know the impact that simply living out our faith makes in the lives of others. So walk the walk and trust that He will use what you offer.
Secondly, might I encourage you to share your testimony with me? With others? Though I know it can be difficult to stand up here, I am SO encouraged when others share how Christ brought them to Himself. Your testimonies strengthen my faith and cause me to praise God as I see His mighty hand working in the lives of others. If you’re not a speaker, write down your testimony and just read it as I’m going to do. Or at least write it down and ask someone to read it for you. I would love to hear of God’s working in your life.
Now for my testimony:
My parents were divorced when I was 7, and so my sister and I were raised more by our grandparents than our parents. We were brought up according to good morals and good manners. And we attended church each Sunday because that’s what “good” people did – but it was definitely a separate compartment from the rest of my life. A little bit of God on Sunday didn’t affect my Mondays through Saturdays.
My earliest thought of eternal things comes with a memory I have as a little girl. I had a chart that I kept tacked up in my room on which was listed various chores I had. I relished putting a check beside each item when I finished it. And I remember connecting that with the thought – “Maybe, if I check off enough boxes, I’ll be good enough to get to Heaven.”
Because of my parents’ divorce, I changed schools when I was 8. And at school I met a little girl named Stacia who befriended me. Stacia was unlike anyone I had ever met. She spent her entire school career faithfully telling students and teachers alike about the Gospel of Jesus Christ. She was labeled as odd, made fun of and ridiculed. I praise God for her faithful witness to those around her. She and her family made a huge impact on my life as they lived out what true Christianity looked like. Their love and witness softened my heart to the things of God.
Marty and I began dating when we were teenagers. I quickly found out that what he called “church” was radically different from mine. We took turns each week – one week we would come here and the next week go to my church. It didn’t take me long at all to notice some major differences. There was a genuineness in your lives that struck me. At first I couldn’t put my finger on it, but I later realized that the faith I found here encompassed your whole lives. I realized that you weren’t just “playing church” and that church wasn’t something that took place because it was the “right” thing to do. Worship seemed far more sincere and desirable than the routine of written prayers and liturgies that I mumbled each week without another thought. I realized, too, that you considered yourselves a family and that you desired, and tried, to live out the principles taught here each week.
And so, I began to ask Marty questions. Lots and lots of questions. And he answered them. But more importantly, he challenged me to look for the answers myself in the Word of God. I had never been encouraged to do that. The Bible had always been a book that sat in the rack on the back of the pew and on the bookshelf at home. And so, I asked more questions, read the Word and listened intently to the messages I was hearing here.
I did this for several years until I came to the realization. The difference between our two churches was this: mine was practicing a religion, his was practicing faith. Some people would say, “What’s the difference?” Though Christianity is a religion, I discovered that it’s so much more – that it’s about a relationship with Jesus Christ. It’s not about a list of do’s and don’ts, a checklist to get to Heaven. It’s about coming to a personal knowledge of the One who loved me enough to die for me. It’s about humbling myself before the Creator of the Universe and acknowledging that I owe Him my life - that I was born His enemy and that I needed to be made right with Him through an acknowledgement of His sovereignty and my sin.
And, so, one afternoon, in the backyard of my childhood home, I surrendered to Him.
I bowed my knee, confessed my sin, believed in His sacrifice, accepted His gift and got off the throne of my life so that He could take it. And then, my life began to change. Some changes took place quickly. The first time that I took His name in vain after surrendering my heart to Him, I nearly choked. I hadn’t thought twice about saying such things before, but I could longer use those words. Things that I had once read, watched and listened to now appalled me. It was like I had been given a different set of eyes and ears. I began to develop a relationship with my great-grandmother who lived with us. Prior to my conversion, I had treated her many times with disrespect and she was often the target of my cursings. Now I had the desire to sit and talk and listen to her. I found myself getting up from the table right after eating to help clear the dishes or asking if I could be of help – a desire to be of service to others began to grow in my heart. I’m sure my family thought I was crazy.
And then there were things that took a lot longer for me to learn and discover and become. God in His amazing ways of working has used many people to teach me many things about walking in the ways of wisdom. I learned how to wisely take care of a home from my mother-in-law, as well as to discover that there is much joy in service to others. My sister has taught me the blessings of living a life of generosity and thoughtfulness. My sister-in-law, Angie, constantly helps to chip away at my self-righteous spirit. God has used my son Ben to teach me grand lessons about perseverance, truth and integrity. Caleb reminds me that God’s work is good for my soul and that faithfulness and consistency are to be desired. God uses Eli to help me not to forget to look for the joy in simple pleasures and that all of life is a gift. And my Lord has used my husband to teach me some of the hardest and best lessons of all: that God’s Word is life; that faithfulness isn’t always easy but always worth it; that sacrifice isn’t really sacrifice at all; that integrity is worth hardship; that there are things we should cry about; and that all is grace.
And so, I have spent more than 20 years now, tasting and seeing that the Lord is good. And by His grace, I will continue to walk in His wisdom. Not perfectly, and some days not even well, but I walk by faith. Studying His Word, living His Word, loving His Word. I praise Him for the marvelous work He has done in me - making me a new creation, changing me from the inside out. God is so good.
And that’s my journey of faith. Or, at least, how far I’ve come thus far. The journey continues . . .
